Lack of Environment

A blog on the politics and psychology underlying the denial of all our environmental problems

The Sceptics’ Creed

with 6 comments

For this spoof of the Anglican version of the Nicene Creed I apologise to all those who lack a sense of humour:


[All stand]

We believe in some gods,
like Professor Ian Plimer,
writer of ‘Heaven and Earth’,
of all that is mean and not green.

We believe in some lords; John Christy
and in Richard Lindzen.
Endlessly they are proven wrong and yet still,
from their shite we recite,
true lies from sad guys,
opinions, not facts,
of one thing we are certain,
through them all truths were made.

For us and for our salvation
they came down from science:
by the power of our human folly,
they became embedded in ideology,
and made their plan.

For our sake they were crucified by climate scientists;
they suffered ‘death’ and were ‘buried’.
On the third day they rose again
in accordance with the sceptics;
they returned to their jobs,
and are seated in academic tenure.

They will come again in future to fudge the reason and the facts,
and their soapbox will have no end.

We believe in the wholly spurious, our god, the slither of doubt,
which precedes our judgement of evidence.
With the money and the vice it is worshiped and glorified.
It is supported through the profits…
We believe in one wholly cynical and irrational church.
We acknowledge one purpose; for the pursuance of greed.
We look for the perpetuation of growth,
and the life of the World to shun.


[Please be seated]

Copyright © Martin Lack 2013

6 Responses

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  1. Hallelujah!


    27 January 2013 at 13:10

    • Thanks Duncan. Please feel free to circulate (with appropriate credit, of course, to me as the author).

      Martin Lack

      27 January 2013 at 13:11

  2. Great, Martin! Beth


    28 January 2013 at 10:59

    • Thanks Beth. It works best if you know the original (or at least can see it on screen at the same time). I think I could have improved it if I had worked on it for longer but I wanted to publish it on Sunday…

      I have another humourous item coming out at the end of the week (I am too busy trying to end my unemployment to blog properly); but that will be more of a visual – as opposed to literary – joke.

      Martin Lack

      28 January 2013 at 11:12

  3. O, men.


    30 January 2013 at 11:53

  4. […] started the year with The Sceptics’ Creed – based on the statement of faith recited every week in many churches. In a similar vein, […]

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